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21 Funny Parenting Quotes

Hilarious and so true quotes about parenting and kids shenanigans every parent can relate to. Having a tough day? Read, share, and have a laugh.

Which quote can you most relate to?

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.

The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
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The only things kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents.

The only things kids wear out faster than shoes is their parents.
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The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
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This is the absolute truth.

First child eats dirt. Parent calls doctor. Second child eats dirt. Parent cleans out mouth. Third child eats dirt.

First child eats dirt. Parent calls doctor. Second child eats dirt. Parent cleans out mouth. Third child eats dirt.
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Parent wonders if she really needs to feed him lunch.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
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Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them
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to sit down and shut up.

Great parenting lies somewhere between ‘don’t do that!’ and ‘ah, what the hell!’

Great parenting lies somewhere between ‘don’t do that!’ and ‘ah, what the hell!’
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You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.
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The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed.

The joys of motherhood are never fully experienced until the children are in bed.
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.
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Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit.

Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit.
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If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle
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especially the part that says 'keep away from children'. -  Susan Savannah

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
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Parenting is saying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Parenting is saying the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
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Oddly enough, that is the definition of insanity. Coincidence? I think not!

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists.
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You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you. - Ray Romano

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
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No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids.
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Love
8
Cool
3
LOL
17
Smile
3
Sneaky
1
Sad
1

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Truth is, you're not okay, but you will be. You'll hold on, but you'll let go. It'll be difficult, but you'll do it. You're feeling weak, but be strong.

Truth is, you're not okay, but you will be. You'll hold on, but you'll let go. It'll be difficult, but you'll do it. You're feeling weak, but be strong.

Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life. - Mandy Hale

Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life. - Mandy Hale

When you can tell your story and it doesn't make you cry, that's when you know you have healed.

When you can tell your story and it doesn't make you cry, that's when you know you have healed.

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