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FRIENDSHIP INSPIRATIONAL LOVE MOVING ON POSITIVE

Be picky with your men as you are with your selfies

Be picky with your men as you are with your selfies
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You can't do epic shit with basic people.

You can't do epic shit with basic people.
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I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
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My life feels like a test I didn't study for.

My life feels like a test I didn't study for.
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Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.

Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
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I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.

I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.
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You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.

You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
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Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?

Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
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Someday you’ll go far and I hope you stay there.

Someday you’ll go far and I hope you stay there.
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I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.

I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
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Life asked Death. "Why do people love me but hate you?" Death responded, "Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth."

Life asked Death. "Why do people love me but hate you?" Death responded, "Because you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth."

21 Funny Parenting Quotes

21 Funny Parenting Quotes

I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.

I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.

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