You can't do epic shit with basic people.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
My life feels like a test I didn't study for.
Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
Someday you’ll go far and I hope you stay there.
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
I’m sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.
21 Funny Parenting Quotes
10 Simple Ways To Be Happy
You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.
© 2016 ILikeToQuote. All rights reserved.