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You can't do epic shit with basic people.
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I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
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My life feels like a test I didn't study for.
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Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
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I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.
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You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
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Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
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Someday you’ll go far and I hope you stay there.
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I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
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I’m sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.
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The pages of yesterday cannot be revised, but the pages of tomorrow are blank and you hold the pen. Make it an inspiring story.
Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life. - Mandy Hale
21 Funny Parenting Quotes
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