Be picky with your men as you are with your selfies
You can't do epic shit with basic people.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
My life feels like a test I didn't study for.
Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
Someday you’ll go far and I hope you stay there.
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
21 Funny Parenting Quotes
You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.
If you hear people from my past speak of me, keep in mind they are speaking of a person they don't even know anymore.
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