I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
My life feels like a test I didn't study for.
Tomorrow: A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored.
I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.
You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
Someday you’ll go far and I hope you stay there.
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.
I’m sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face.
Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out?
Sometimes, your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.
21 Funny Parenting Quotes
So you're a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd! - Mandy Hale
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