I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.

I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.
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21 Funny Parenting Quotes

21 Funny Parenting Quotes
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts. - Tina Fey

Make up sex is worth fighting for.

Make up sex is worth fighting for.
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I used to be pro-life until i met you.

I used to be pro-life until i met you.
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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other
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I never have enough middle fingers

I never have enough middle fingers
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Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men
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My middle finger gets a Boner when I think about you.

My middle finger gets a Boner when I think about you.
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Dear chairs, I know you get more ass, but I get more head. Sincerely, Pillows.

Dear chairs, I know you get more ass, but I get more head. Sincerely, Pillows.
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I'm not in a bad mood, everyone is just annoying.

I'm not in a bad mood, everyone is just annoying.
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