I Can Relate
Men and Women
A girl’s status will tell you more about how she feels than she ever will.
Facebook should expand their relationship status field to include: One Night Stand, Friends With Benefits and Do it Yourself.
Facebook is like the fridge you keep checking it but there’s nothing good.
I thought you were good looking, until I clicked “view more pictures”.
The weekends forecast… 100% chance of being drunk with a slight chance of making an ass out of myself.
It’s called Facebook not Boobbook. So next time try to get you face in the picture too.
Relationship Status:”Single” “Married” “Divorced” “Complicated”…. Hey Facebook, can we get an option that says “Fuck Relationships”?
Don’t cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Because girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.
If brains were money, you’d be a charity case.
Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.
Facebook should have a “I don’t know you” as an option to ignore a friend request.
My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible…
I didn’t fall, I attacked the floor.
I was gonna clean my room, until I got high. I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high. My room is still messed up… and I know why.
Don’t feel depressed if you’re alone this one day. Feel depressed that you’re alone the other 364 days of the year.
In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix first must burn. - Octavia E. Butler
If you hear people from my past speak of me, keep in mind they are speaking of a person they don't even know anymore.
10 Simple Ways To Be Happy
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