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A girl’s status will tell you more about how she feels than she ever will.

Facebook should expand their relationship status field to include: One Night Stand, Friends With Benefits and Do it Yourself.

Facebook is like the fridge you keep checking it but there’s nothing good.

I thought you were good looking, until I clicked “view more pictures”.

The weekends forecast… 100% chance of being drunk with a slight chance of making an ass out of myself.

It’s called Facebook not Boobbook. So next time try to get you face in the picture too.

Relationship Status:”Single” “Married” “Divorced” “Complicated”…. Hey Facebook, can we get an option that says “Fuck Relationships”?

Don’t cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Because girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.

If brains were money, you’d be a charity case.

Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Facebook should have a “I don’t know you” as an option to ignore a friend request.

My internet went down yesterday. I think my neighbor forgot to pay the bill. How irresponsible…

I didn’t fall, I attacked the floor.

I was gonna clean my room, until I got high. I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high. My room is still messed up… and I know why.

Don’t feel depressed if you’re alone this one day. Feel depressed that you’re alone the other 364 days of the year.



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You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.

You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.

So you're a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd! - Mandy Hale

So you're a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd! - Mandy Hale

The quickest way to get someone's attention is to no longer want it.

The quickest way to get someone's attention is to no longer want it.

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