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I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?

I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?
More From: Funny

If someone could have invented something to put on your head to block the sun from your eyes.

If someone could have invented something to put on your head to block the sun from your eyes.
More From: Funny

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When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.

When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.
More From: Relatable

The awkward moment when someone takes your sarcasm seriously.

The awkward moment when someone takes your sarcasm seriously.
More From: Funny

I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?

I have finally decided to give a crap. Now who wants the first piece?
More From: Funny

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Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.
More From: Relatable

Oh so you're a model? Who is your agency, instagram?

Oh so you're a model? Who is your agency, instagram?
More From: Funny

Oh, you're popular on facebook? That's cool. I mean, these days it's easy to have 1,500 friends that you've never met before.

Oh, you're popular on facebook? That's cool. I mean, these days it's easy to have 1,500 friends that you've never met before.
More From: Facebook

I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm.

I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm.
More From: Funny

My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity.

My degree of sarcasm depends on your degree of stupidity.
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15 Inspirational and Empowering Quotes For Women

15 Inspirational and Empowering Quotes For Women

If you hear people from my past speak of me, keep in mind they are speaking of a person they don't even know anymore.

If you hear people from my past speak of me, keep in mind they are speaking of a person they don't even know anymore.

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.

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