Most women prefer sex with the lights out - they can't bear to see a man enjoying himself. Men like sex with the lights on, so they can get the women's names right.
Sex is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
I try to avoid things that make me fat... Like scales, mirrors and photographs.
It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces
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