I hate it when some people call me insane or crazy. I prefer the phrase mentally hilarious.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
Do not trust atoms, they make up everything
How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso
It would be so incredible if I could read minds, but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.
I'm a very nice person, but for you I'll make an exception.
I didn't fall, the floor looked like it needed a hug.
It's bad manners to say 'I love you' with a mouth full of lies.
I'm not arguing. I'm simply explaining why I'm right.
You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.
21 Funny Parenting Quotes
Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life. - Mandy Hale
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