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I hate it when some people call me insane or crazy. I prefer the phrase mentally hilarious.

I hate it when some people call me insane or crazy. I prefer the phrase mentally hilarious.
More From: Funny

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
More From: Funny

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Do not trust atoms, they make up everything

Do not trust atoms, they make up everything
More From: Funny

How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso

How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso
More From: Funny

It would be so incredible if I could read minds, but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.

It would be so incredible if I could read minds, but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
More From: Funny

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Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.

Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.
More From: Teenagers

I'm a very nice person, but for you I'll make an exception.

I'm a very nice person, but for you I'll make an exception.
More From: Funny

I didn't fall, the floor looked like it needed a hug.

I didn't fall, the floor looked like it needed a hug.
More From: Funny

It's bad manners to say 'I love you' with a mouth full of lies.

It's bad manners to say 'I love you' with a mouth full of lies.
More From: Funny

I'm not arguing. I'm simply explaining why I'm right.

I'm not arguing. I'm simply explaining why I'm right.
More From: Funny

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So you're a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd! - Mandy Hale

So you're a little weird? Work it! A little different? OWN it! Better to be a nerd than one of the herd! - Mandy Hale

21 Funny Parenting Quotes

21 Funny Parenting Quotes

If you hear people from my past speak of me, keep in mind they are speaking of a person they don't even know anymore.

If you hear people from my past speak of me, keep in mind they are speaking of a person they don't even know anymore.

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