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I hate it when some people call me insane or crazy. I prefer the phrase mentally hilarious.

I hate it when some people call me insane or crazy. I prefer the phrase mentally hilarious.
More From: Funny

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
More From: Funny

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Do not trust atoms, they make up everything

Do not trust atoms, they make up everything
More From: Funny

How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso

How do you feel when there is no coffee? Depresso
More From: Funny

It would be so incredible if I could read minds, but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.

It would be so incredible if I could read minds, but constantly hearing about how sexy and great I am would probably get old.
More From: Funny

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Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.

Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.
More From: Teenagers

I'm a very nice person, but for you I'll make an exception.

I'm a very nice person, but for you I'll make an exception.
More From: Funny

I didn't fall, the floor looked like it needed a hug.

I didn't fall, the floor looked like it needed a hug.
More From: Funny

It's bad manners to say 'I love you' with a mouth full of lies.

It's bad manners to say 'I love you' with a mouth full of lies.
More From: Funny

I'm not arguing. I'm simply explaining why I'm right.

I'm not arguing. I'm simply explaining why I'm right.
More From: Funny

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You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.

You know you're on the right track when you become uninterested in looking back.

In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix first must burn. - Octavia E. Butler

In order to rise from its own ashes, a Phoenix first must burn. - Octavia E. Butler

It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces

It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces

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